Not So Shining
by Alastair Seki
Summary: Just a little character musing. Fuu thinks about what it's like being kidnapped all the time. And why it's not so horrible as you might think. R&R, please!


Hello, everyone! I'm back again! (cricket, cricket) I can see you're all overjoyed... Ah, sarcasm. Well, anyway, here's a little piece from the wonderful series Samurai Champloo. I like the characters; they're so different, yet they mesh so well.

This story was brought on while I was in the middle of typing a different one. Isn't it wonderful how one plot bunny will jump on you only to be sniped by another? Who is then taken out by another, while a different one proceeds to attack you?

Yes, I'm a little odd. And is anyone else amused by the thought of a little fuzzy bunny with a sniper rifle?

Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai Champloo. I'm making no money off this whatsoever. In fact, I'm probably losing money considering fan-fiction sucks away my life, which causes problems for my college classes... ... Stopping rant, now.

ooooooooooooo

Kidnapped! Again! Why was she always getting kidnapped? Hmph. Y'know, she really must have been screwing up all those statistics for the likelihood of being abducted. She was reasonably sure that practically any normal person asked on the street would be able to say zero. She, on the other hand, would have to say 5… and counting. Sigh.

She supposed she should be flattered… sort of, anyway. In stories, it was only the important girls who got kidnapped. You know, princesses and the like, not little peasant girls with patches in their kimonos. So, maybe she should take it as a compliment that so many people thought she was important enough to be worth abducting.

Then again, they never considered her important enough to be given the appropriate accommodations. Princesses got towers with a view and rooms with nice, soft beds and a full bedroom set complete with clothes! She was always tossed into some dingy cellar-like place that was most likely infested with an undetermined amount of mice and bugs. Shudder. She never even wanted to think about what usually ended up crawling into her kimono after one of her little escapades.

Though, she mused, there were some stories that had princesses locked in places just as bad, if not worse, than what she'd had to deal with. So maybe…

There was definitely one major difference between stories and her life though, that was sure. She was not one of those typical whiny, wimpy princesses that couldn't do anything for themselves. Oh, I broke a na-il! Hmph. She could take care of herself! Hi-yah! They'd be out cold! If she ever got the chance to open some whoop-ass on her kidnappers, that is.

Sure, she complained a lot when she was captured, but who wouldn't, right? If she was tied up it wasn't exactly like she could start flailing and punch some people. So she used words instead. She gave her abductors a verbal beat down. Of course, then they would usually just gag her, and then she was back to square one.

But she never stopped trying to figure out a way to escape! And well, she supposed there were a few stories out there that didn't have princesses who were complete pushovers…

Another difference was the ending. In stories it was always Prince Charming riding up on his noble steed to rescue the beautiful damsel in distress from the horrid wicked beasts that thought to take her away. Besides the already established fact that she was no "damsel in distress," there was the fact that she didn't have a "Prince Charming" to come rescue her. Sigh. Instead, she had two ruffians who, while tolerable, were nowhere near charming. Not really whom one would call knights in shining armor, those two.

They did manage to rescue her though. And they got to it, usually, in a more or less timely fashion, too. Also, they each did have a type of charm to them.

The red one was good for having a nice verbal spar with. He could give some pretty good insults, and she'd learned a lot from him. Lately, she'd even managed to give as good as she got, too. He was always there to add a bit of fun to her day and a smile to her face. After he had finished irritating her with his attitude first, of course.

The blue one was a charmer in his own way, as well. He never smiled much, but his seriousness was a good contrast to her (sometimes excessive) frivolity. He was nice to have tea and just think with. He was always there to give a supporting presence when she needed some silence and calm. After he had finished frustrating her with his aversion to speech, of course.

Generally, though, she would rather not get kidnapped in the first place. Even if it meant that she wouldn't get to think about the way her life seemed to be able to be matched to all the old stories told by grandmothers. Overall, getting abducted wasn't one of her favorite things to do in a day. There were too many downsides to make the good parts worth it; no matter how much she liked thinking of herself as a beautiful princess. She could do that while not kidnapped, just as easily as while kidnapped.

Oh, and speaking of knights and ruffians… Hers were here to save the day once again. And with a sarcastic remark from one, and a cool once-over from the other, she was free and ready to continue on their way. … Just as soon as she managed one good kick to the groin of the guy who had first grabbed her.

Alright, she was ready to leave now, and as they started down the road she finished her thoughts about princesses and princes and daring rescues. She was content with daydreaming about finding a meal to fill her empty stomach. Because another downside to kidnappings, was the fact that none of the abductors thought they need give her any food. Jerks.

Oh well. At least getting kidnapped had one definite plus side. She got to be rescued by two knights in, well, somewhat dingy, armor. It wasn't a perfect ending to the story, but Fuu had never really been one for fairytales anyway.

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End file.
